This is a hard one for me to write, because I struggle with this a lot, which is why I decided to write it.

Women are masters at self loathing and destroyers of their own self worth. We are so good at it in fact it is like we practice it with the dedication required for a high level martial arts.

Why is it we feel guilty when we look good? Why do we feel embarrassed when we are given compliments, and bat them away. Secretly thinking they are saying it just to be nice.

I tell you something it is exhausting! 

To be constantly fretting away in the back of your mind about how you look, and what others must be thinking about you.  Seriously if we expended that thought power & energy to something else, we would probably have the time and the extra energy to learn a new skill!

Guess what? Other people rarely spend any time at all on judging you, or even giving you a 2^nd thought. Everyone  is far too busy worrying about themselves. All these hundreds of busy people rushing around like ants. All caught up in their own little bubbles, fretting .

The thing we need to do is concentrate on one small thing we like about ourselves, and focus on that all week. Every time that doubting snidy voice creeps in trying to make you feel bad about yourself, stop it in its tracks and think of the thing that you love about yourself.. Then draw in all those lovely happy feelings you get inside when you feel good. Get your glow on, and that’s an order!!

By doing these small simple steps you will realise that you do start to feel good naturally more. You might find it hard to start with but you know what they say – fake it until you make it. It works! Concentrate on that feeling you get inside when you feel good about how you look. Those times that make you stand up tall, and strut a little (you know you have!). Then hold on to that feeling as you concentrate on that bit you like about yourself.  Found it? Great! Keep hold of it! Quick go and look in the mirror and you will notice a shine in your eyes.

Get your glow on - see how your eyes shine!

That is what we should be projecting out everyday. Now it is small baby steps to keep up the good work. First get a notebook or your diary and write down your thing you have chosen. Then next week we will choose another thing we like/love about ourselves and focus on that all week, and add it to the list. See where I am going with this?

Then bit by bit we will get back to loving and respecting ourselves the way we should.

You would never consider looking or thinking about your friends and family that way. You wouldn't look at a stranger on the street and judge them so harshly, or think such cruel thought about them. Then why do we think it is acceptable to treat ourselves that way?

We need to start the change.
We need to be the change.

Lift your head high and feel the love

Something happened to me the other day that made me determined  to start learning to love myself more.

I had the misfortune to encounter one of those women..... who seem to hate other women. They seem to be threatened by  the presence of other women. They become territorial  and barely bother to conceal their dislike/contempt. Lots of daggered looks, looked up and down. I was even treated to some eye rolls, tuts and shakes of her head right to my face.

I was taken aback (as I was only with the group for the day as part of a training course) for 2 reasons –

The way I reacted made me mad – with her and me.

Though by the end of the day I had realised that she seemed to be low of confidence herself, and she probably spent a lot of her time maintaining her perfect image for her team mates in an all male team. We were very different in looks and attitude. She looked like Quinn out of Glee I........... definitely don’t!

 Maybe it is all an act and they feel as unsure as I do. If that is the case that there is all the more reason to start this self love-in now.

Love your body

This inspirational quote was passed on to me by Alex Beadon who has been kind enough to take time out of her busy schedule to write to me about self confidence and following your dreams. Alex Beadon

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Just in case you are still not fully feeling the love, check out this music video by Sara Barielles called Brave. You may have heard it being played on the radio the last couple of weeks, but listen to the lyrics. They really resonated with me, and I dare you not to be smiling by the end of the video and feeling good!