You might be able to tell from the title that I can't really think of anything clever to start my post with!

 I wanted to get back on here and just say that I am still around pottering away in the background, getting on with life.

I haven't been taking many photos over the last 6 months, and have been having a bit of a crisis of confidence. I have been umming and ahhing about my future as a photographer who wants to call themselves semi-pro, but hasn't got the money to promote the business, and therefore hasn't got the business, and this has resulted in a large debilitating dose of lack of self confidence! Tools have been downed, and due to having to move out our house (see last post) my gear has been scattered around the various places we are storing our possessions.

As such I have been bandying around the possibility of calling it quits as a day job, and just having a break. I realised that I was stressing myself out too much worrying about marketing ideas, and worrying about my skills and thinking that I should go on the various timely and costly courses that promise to make you an amazing photographer in a couple of days. I suddenly realised that I had stopped enjoying it and was caught up in the mechanics of it.

But over the last couple of weeks I have been sitting and thinking about photography more, and I have started to miss it, and have started to think of photos that I might want to take again.

I have realised that I need to take time for me, to get back to the sort of photography that made me fall in love with it in the first place, and stop worrying about how many hits I get when I post a photo online. It doesn't mean that you are a success or a failure because someone hasn't looked at your photo. It is hard though, it seems to have become a knee jerk reaction, basing my success on views from strangers! It has become a bit of a strange world where everything is so obtainable instantly and you are being watched constantly and judged, but at the same time, if you don't connect in the right places know one knows you exist!

So I am going to take myself off line a bit more photographically for the next while. I will stick up the occasional photo I have taken, but they will be photos I have taken because I wanted to, and because it make me smile and not because I am trying to impress a cyber audience.

I am getting back to learning my camera, understanding my skills and my limitations. Working on the areas I want to improve and get my self confidence back!
I want to get back behind the camera and feel happy and sure of myself. Not nervous and double guessing everything I do just in case someone doesn't like it.

This it has also made me rethink about what I want to do as a photographer. I realised suddenly that I have been offering a lot of types of photography that I thought I had to because it is what you do as a photographer if you want to be successful. The standard photos that you see people offering - weddings, baby portraits, family portraits etc.
Well no more! I don't actually enjoy that type of photography that much, because it is not who I am! This is not to say that the shoots I have done in these areas have not been fun, and I have not learnt a lot, or made friends along the way, because I have. But it has also been stressful, and full of worry trying to produce the kind of shots that people want, and NOT MESS UP! I want to get it right, and give them images that they will love, and want to keep.

So for now I am going to go back to my roots as it were, back to nature and landscape photography. Get my macro lens back out and spend a couple of hours investigating the garden (when it is not raining!), go to gigs again and take my camera, and get a rush from the adrenaline of getting the shot. Then I will spend time getting the business back to where it should be, run by a photographer who is proud of what she produces and does not make excuses for her work because she does not think it is good enough. Stands tall, controls the shoot, takes her time and loves every minute.
As such I will just be offering a few packages now, specialising in what I enjoy, and I feel that I am good at. Boudoir, and Music.

Changes are a comin' and I hope that you guys stick around to see what is coming next.

It will not be for a few months, as we are currently still in between places, and are camped out in my Dad's spare room, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it should be really exciting for us when we get there, as it will mark a whole new chapter in our lives!

Right enough of me rambling, here are some pics that I took at my husband's brothers wedding a couple of weeks ago in Sussex. I was not the photographer - I left that to the professionals! ;-)

Also right at the bottom is a pic of my new hair!